Lost
by WelshClaire
Summary: Multi-chap using events from the Twitter roleplay. Leo/Janet.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a Leo-centric oneshot, based around recent events in the Twitter roleplay. For those of you not following it all (why not?), Janet has been kidnapped by one of her ex's (for the second time in a week). Much love to all the RP gang- Lizzie, Flossie, Issy & Laura, and all the rest of the #WitnessArmy! Twitter would be a lot less fun without you all :)**

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Taken again. From inside our home.  
The one place she should have been safe. I couldn't stop him getting to her – god know what he's done, or is doing to her now. I've let her down. Failed her and our babies.  
I can't lose my family again, not now – not that there's ever a good time to lose the ones you cherish. Losing Teresa and Cassie was heartbreaking, but at least I knew they hadn't suffered. I couldn't have done anything.  
Losing Janet is worse, I know she's out there in the hands of a monster. I could save her if i had a clue where to find her- I don't know where to begin. I need to get her back – I can't be without her.  
I nearly lost her before, and not just when he took her a few days ago. I messed up, I've never regretted anything more – is this my punishment? I wish I could turn back time, change – erase what I said, what I did.  
If - no, when I get her back, I'll make sure she knows just how important she is to me. I'd give up anything to get her and our babies back. I just need them to be safe.  
It hurts to be without her, knowing she's with someone she hates – against her will. Knowing he could do anything to her and there's nothing I can do to stop him. Knowing that no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, there's a great chance I won't ever see her beautiful face again. That face I love, that comforts me after a long hard day at work that reassures me that it's all okay, that I'm not alone. Without that, without her I'm lost, I can't function without her.  
Over 24 hours she's been gone, I haven't slept, haven't been able to eat. There's no point to anything without her. I just want her home, safe in my arms, safe from that monster and anyone else who could hurt her.

I need her to be okay.

I need her so that I can be okay.

I can't carry on without her.

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**I scribbled this out on a scrap of paper on my break at work today...hope it's okay! :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so this WAS meant to be a one-shot, but I got home from work tonight and words just began exploding out from my fingertips (almost literally!) so it's multi-chap, and who knows how long it will go on for! Enjoy :)**

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She's safe. She's back...well almost. She escaped and got away from him. Okay, she's in hospital miles away from our home, but she's safe and I've got her back, I'm with her. I know she's safe, I can see that she's safe, even if we've still got a way to go to get over this and move on with our lives. Not just us, but Harry & Nikki too...they were, understandably horrified by him & his threats to take Nikki if Janet escaped from him.  
I've got her and our babies back in my life. I couldn't be happier. Knowing she didn't end up like the rest of his poor victims – dead, on our slab after being raped and abused by him – If that had happened to her, I couldn't have carried on.  
Come on Leo, it's over! I don't need to think about it any more. He's locked up in a police cell and can never touch or hurt her ever again. He deserves to, and will be there for the rest of his worthless life. It's times like this that make me so glad the death penalty is no more. Death is too good, too simple, too easy an end for scum like him.  
We found out the sex of our babies today, a boy and a girl. I cried, having Janet back, knowing her and our babies were okay, seeing her and our babies – it was all too much. I couldn't stop the tears when I saw them on the screen – our gorgeous perfect babies.  
We've decided on names for them too – Harry wanted our boy to be named after him! We chose Janet's middle name as our daughter's first name – Promise Lily Dalton. Harry will be disappointed with our son's – William Oscar Dalton. He'll come to love it though – our son doesn't need Harry's name to know how much the man means to us, he's been so helpful, so supportive, and even with his own scares with Nikki, Ivy & his mum, he stayed calm for us and helped me get Janet back. I wouldn't have her without him.  
If our son had Harry's name, our daughter would have to have Nikki's name somewhere. Those two have kept me going through so much, everything would be so different without them, I'm so glad they finally found each other, some people are just meant to be together. Harry and Nikki. Me and Janet.  
You can't stop some things from happening. I've got Janet back, no-one was going to stop that. I would have torn the world apart and searched for her for the rest of my life if I'd had to.

She means to much to me to give up on her.

She is, and always will be everything to me.


	3. Chapter 3

**I meant to post this around a week ago, and only just realised - as I was about to post more - that I hadn't! So, to make up for my lack of chapters in both this, and 'Contact' you get two chapters of this fic at once! :)**

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I've barely moved from sitting next to her in over 48 hours. The realisation of why he took her to Sheffield, knowing I'd hate to have to go there. The pain of losing one family there mixed with the panic and possibility of losing another. It couldn't have been a coincidence, especially with how much he was able to find out about us all. He'd have been right though – if I had lost Janet there. That would have been too much to cope with. I didn't though, I didn't lose her. She's safe. I just wish she could understand that. She's scared in hospital – I left her for less than 5 minutes last night while she slept, she woke up without me there and was petrified someone was after her. She wants to go home, I want her home – we all do, but when I got back to her she said she was scared of going home – I should have known – he took her from our home, there's no way she would want to go back there, and I can't blame her for it. So now, as well everything else we're house hunting. I don't mind though, it will be good, for both of us, to have a new house with no memories, a fresh start away from him. A new house for us and our babies, a new home in this new chapter of our lives. Hopefully we find somewhere before the babies arrive – moving once we have them would not be fun, but will probably have to be done.

Harry's looking at some houses with me tomorrow, I hope one of them is perfect. Janet wants to be home, she hates it in hospital, I hate her being here. I told her if I found the perfect house for us before she's home I'd sneak her out of hospital to see it. I'm not sure I could though, she wouldn't go back, and she has to, her ankle needs to heal more before she comes home.

I wish I could take away her pain, protect her from the world, and keep her safe. I know this will take a long time for her to get over, if I could even halve her fear it would help. The slightest thing scares her, even just the thought of people coming in her room without her knowing.

I felt one of our babies kick for the first time tonight. Janet's convinced it was Promise. Whichever it was, it made it so much more real, knowing our perfect little creations are growing, waiting inside her. I can't wait to hold them for the first time, and many times after that.

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**Thoughts? :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**So this chapter is set a few days later**

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Midnight, and I'm wide awake. She's asleep next to me. Home, I've got her home. It doesn't stop my fear though, if anything it's worse. She was taken from here, and though he's locked up, I'm petrified she'll be taken again.

I took her for granted before, not that I didn't love her, but I didn't appreciate her the way I do now. She was there to cook for me, clean the house, make love to, she did everything for me, I did so little for her. That's all different now – and not just because of her ankle. Since the babies, and having her taken from me twice, fearing I'd never see her again, I realised she completes me. There's no point to me living if I can't have her beside me, helping me, guiding me, loving me.

Each day I realise how lucky I am to have her love me, accept me, and live her life with me, merge our lives, make that commitment so that we make decisions for us as a couple, not individuals. Knowing she is there for me makes everything better, I sleep better knowing she's beside me – okay so I'm still awake now, but I'll be asleep sooner with her here than I would without her. She makes my life worthwhile, gives me meaning, gives me something to look forward to at the end of a long day.

After a cold, wet horrific crime scene at night, slipping back into bed next to her, holding her tight, knowing she loves me makes everything okay. I forget the cruel world we live in where some people think it's okay to take the lives of others without a second thought. She makes everything better simply by being there, she grounds me, makes me see sense, makes me see the good in this word rather than the bad. I love her so much, without her I'm nothing.

I never thought I'd be a father again, she gave me that opportunity, allowed me to love a child of my own again, allowed me to have a family once more. Once they're old enough to understand, I'll tell our babies about their sister and her mum. I'd always thought I'd forget about them if I had another family – that was partly the reason I didn't want to – but then I realised it doesn't have to be like that. Having two more children won't diminish my love for Cassie, if anything it will strengthen it, I can tell them about her, remember her, love her as I love them. I need Janet, she protects me, she comforts me, she loves me, cherishes me as I do her.

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**Don't forget to click that lovely little review button, even if you only write a few words :) It all makes me happier and write quicker - and on that note, I shall try to get the next chapter of 'Contact' up tomorrow after work, if not you'll probably have to wait until the weekend! :( xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**This is for Issy & Flossie, but definitely not Lizzie - the evil evil angst-causer in the roleplay. If you don't follow it, yesterday evening she sent Harry out to a crime scene where he got shot!**

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As if enough hadn't gone wrong for us all in the last few weeks. From one disaster, to another, to the next. It's not fair. He has to get through this. He has so much to live for – Nikki, Ivy, everything they've planned together. Everything he's planned for them. South Africa, proposing, getting married, more kids. They're meant to be together. I knew it had to happen one day from the second I employed her all those years ago – I didn't think it would take them as long as it did, and I certainly didn't expect to find him fighting for his life only a few months later.

Love's cruel game. You experience the highs and then such devastating lows. He has to be okay. Nikki needs him to be okay. I don't know how, or if she'll carry on if he doesn't pull through. He means so much to her, he's always been there for her, and she still needs him now, especially with Ivy on her way. I hate seeing her like this, and I know there's nothing I can do to make it better for her. We just have to wait and pray that Harry will be okay. Him recovering is all than can fix her, make it all okay, help her to carry on.

Anne was right, it shouldn't have been him. It shouldn't have been him on call, not on his birthday. I wish it had been me, just to save Nikki the pain she's going through – but then putting Janet through that, after everything she's been through recently she'd probably be worse than Nikki is. It's just all a horrible mess, no-one deserves to be put through that, to see their loved one so close to death, fighting constantly to stay alive. Even now he's out of theatre at last there's no guarantee he'll make it. We just have to wait, hope, wish, believe he will. If not for his sake, then for Nikki's and Anne' need to believe he'll be okay. I have to stay strong for them, and all I want to do is hold Janet close to me and cry, not that that would help Harry. But then what can we do to help him at the moment? Nothing other than sit by his bed and be there for him, hope he can hear us talking and comes back to us.

Nikki almost went to the scene with him. God knows what would have happened if she did. They could both be fighting for their lives, she'd probably have lost Ivy, that would have ruined her even if even if she & Harry had made a full recovery. It will kill them both if that child isn't okay – they love her so much, they're going to be great parents. They will be. Nikki and Harry will be great parents. Nikki won't be a single mother, Harry won't leave her, he'll be okay, he'll recover, he'll get through this. He won't give up, he'll fight, he wants to see Nikki, and see their baby born, grow up, see everything there is to see in a child's life. He has to. Nikki would fall apart without him, and losing him and seeing her like that would ruin me. I need them to be okay, I ... we all need them to be okay. Until then, we just have hope.

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**I fell asleep after I'd written 25 words of this - it was around midnight and I'd been at work for 14 hours - I hope none of you fell asleep reading it! :p **

**Reviews are always loved even if they're just short ones! xx  
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	6. Chapter 6

It's a horrible feeling. Knowing that if I hadn't lost Theresa and Cassie, I would never have found Janet, and we would never have had Promise and William. I loved Theresa; my daughter meant the world to me, but I can't imagine a life without Janet alongside me.  
I experienced it for a few days and that was awful. I lied to myself, told myself I could get by without her, told myself I didn't love her, didn't need her – I do. So much.  
I just wish that Theresa and Cassie hadn't died – though I don't know what I would have done if they'd been alive when I met Janet. Could I have – would I have left them for her? Thrown away everything, the years, the memories and the love for a life with a new woman? I'm relieved I didn't have to make that choice.

Cassie always wanted a brother or sister – if only she was here to meet Promise and William, once they arrive. I think she'd approve of Janet too – I hope Theresa does. I think Janet was right, what she said about Sean not liking her – she's so different to Theresa that he probably didn't expect us to last, but I knew Janet was special. She could never have been just a rebound shag to 'get over' Theresa's death. No-one ever was – it wouldn't have worked so I didn't bother trying. I hope she doesn't mind that I've moved on. At first I stay loyal, faithful to her, we were still married, I still loved her - it felt wrong to think of being with anyone else, but I couldn't have been by myself for the rest of my life.

Janet gives me the stability, the comfort that I need, and now is giving me a family – our two perfect babies. I've said it before, but I never thought it would happen. For so long I told myself it would harm my memory of Cassie to have another child in my life, but sometimes you have to do what's right for you – even if we didn't really plan them.

It's amazing to think how much my life has changed, just in the last few weeks – the babies, proposing - we'll forget about the kidnapping, though that has made me appreciate Janet a lot more – finding the perfect house for our babies to grow up in, and deciding to get a dog too. Everything is so good; I owe it all to Janet. Without her, I'd have nothing.

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**Reviews make me write quicker! :)  
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**Hoping I can get another chapter of Contact up today or tomorrow for all of you waiting for it xx  
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